pigshite and all things nice
You have to ask yourself why.
What in blessed name allows us to open up, to give up?
What switches off the skeleton-boned “toxic-don’t touch” mechanism, sending us into the wilds of danger, and vulnerability?
Burned, by the big love poker is what happened. schlapped on the behind by a red-hot “Yeah right!” inferno, a paw mark in the face to leave no doubt that it wasn’t to be, and who knows if it ever will be.
ever.
because why would it be?
God forbid, you’d be let be happy. God forbid you’d personify the smile. Heavens forbid, you’d ever get that notion of yourself, that out there someone thinks, that, out of all the dollies and the leggies and the brunettes, your hand is worth holding above all others.
Because if it is worth holding, it ’s only worth a feeble grasp, not enough to drag you through the turmoil of the bad times, and out the other side, to have your face held up to a pair of doting eyes which are resolute in the aftermath that you were worthy extra baggage.
Lying in a collapsed heap, and there’s nothing soft, lovable or euphoric about the pavement. Nothing. but it’s safer to stay there. no one looks down.
it won’t happen again, says the meandering tear.
cryptic, but not that cryptic… sweetie! take refuge in drugs. the harder the better. heroin helps.
seriously, bugger them.
literally. bugger them. wait til the guilty party staggers out of a pub one fateful night, have your kosh and your chloroform at the ready, and a waiting taxi, head out to some wasteland and literally bugger them, with something rusty if possible.
i learnt a long time ago, after having been dumped by my gf of four years, that in this kind of a situ absolutely nothing that anyone has to say makes any difference whatsoever. so i won’t bother.
only to say that i think you’re a wonderful person, a greta writer, and a love. we didn’t see a great deal of each other when u were here, but then i’ve always been self-obsessed!
but i respected you, and admired, no admire! your honesty.
(great speech!!!)
bob the man dylan said it best, ‘if you want to live outside the law you have to be honest’. there’s- let me think - 9 people i’ve met in my entire life that i can say have the wherewithall to do this, and you’re one of them. real things shine.
so fuck him, whoever he is!
Comment by lee — ndep30e11beThu, 02 Nov 2006 23:20:25 +0000 24,2005 @
You’re so kind, (drunk?)
Thanks to you.
You’re dead right. people are great with coming up with all kinds of reasoning but it all goes back to just fucking suffering the annoyance of it all, and remembering that classy adage “the only way to over a man is to get under another.”
I’ll keep you posted!
Comment by ainenifhloinn — thep30e11beWed, 15 Nov 2006 04:29:40 +0000 24,2005 @